Sexuality

Birth to 4 years – touch and explore genitals, likes to be naked interested in others bodies, learns differences in genitals/gender.

5 – 8 years- asks questions about birth, relationships, Doctor / pretend play- explores another child’s body part, learns more about privacy, enjoys masturbation.

9-12 years– masturbates in privacy, develops attraction and media usage, more curiosity on sexuality.

Teenagers – may have sexual experience, decision making, privacy.

· Teach correct body parts, what is good and bad touch and privacy.

· Teach yes / no, correct model behaviour/ asking consent, not to use force.

· Be honest, teach them- use ever window of opportunity.

· Encourage questions, don’t attach shame to body parts.

· Listen and clear doubts, don’t stay silent and increase curiosity.

· Ensure clear rules and values are taught.

· Use books, videos (mentioned in resources).

· Respect their privacy and independence like peers of their age rather than being over protective and hindering their learning process. They need independence like typically growing peers and safety to be taught to prevent abuse

· Teach them to bath and toilet independently. This enables the development of consent, privacy.

· Sexuality concepts have to be concrete (as a matter of fact) and simple, don’t use abstract thoughts.

· The key to teach is repetition.

· Once they get a hang of the current topic, move to the next concept.

· Use stories, pictures, play to teach.

· Sensory issues related to shaving, sanitary napkins have to be taken to consideration.

Body parts -based on developmental age, go backwards and start teaching to current level.

Privacy

Private and public - what’re what activities can be done.

Safety- family, friends, society/doctors, strangers.

Never to allow bad touch. What is the expected level of closeness with each of these people.

Hygiene- for females during mensuration, shaving genitals, erection and wet dreams.

Then come to reproductive body functions.

· If child is not prepared for self hygiene or understanding safety issues, consider postponing menstrual cycle.

· Please teach concepts much before they need to use it, discuss with paediatrician/developmental team. Start early.

Red Flags

· Sexualised play.

· Masturbation affecting life.

· Not respecting privacy and boundaries.

· If media posting/viewing or behavior is sexually inappropriate.

Any time child safety is concern, seek help. Child help line 1098.

Amaze.org has lots of free animated videos ( junior- safety, body parts and puberty-boys and girls)

Nimhans child psychiatry- Which secret to keep.

Nimhans child sexual abuse prevention and personal safety.